Yesterday I had the pleasure of visiting a kink play party, so well, guess what this blog post is about… Anyway, I had seen an advert for the play party in question and it was appealing to me since a lot of thought had clearly gone into making newer people comfortable. There were age restrictions in place between 18 – and 34 (for me the cut off at 34 is a bit low, but I have had some bad experience with older men acting really obnoxious at these kinds of events), there was a pre-meet munch organized, a guided tour of the entire facility was available, it was a bit of a halfway house between a munch in kinky outfits and a full on play party, and it also it was taking place just close enough to where I live to not be too much of a hassle with traveling.

Alas, when I looked into signing-up it was already full and reluctantly I settled for a spot on the waiting list without really thinking much would come of it but I’d at least be on an email list for the next event. After really having lost faith that this waiting list would get me anywhere, in the morning the day before the event itself I received an email with the invitation. I had not discussed the party yet with my Mistress as it did not seem to be very likely that I was going, but when I mentioned to Her that I was contemplating going She was very supportive.

I was quite worried to hurt my Mistress Her feelings since it would be only me attending without Her (Long-Distance is just so incredibly awful in this regard). But my Mistress was quick to outline a list of things that She would be comfortable with and things She was not going to allow. I always appreciate guidance and structure when my Mistress provides it so I was very grateful about that, just needed to stress about what I would wear now instead.

I ended up having a lovely time talking to other kinksters, learning about creative ideas for toys and types of play, walking around the venue, seeing some nice play sessions and demonstrations, and just having an overall good time. If You are perhaps new to play parties, let me finish off this post with some little tips for going to one (not that I am the expert on this, but still).

Do Your Research Before You Book

Not all kink parties are alike. Some are well moderated, others are a safety risk or just filled with really awful people. So definitely read the website of the organization, or perhaps FetLife event-page if that is available, try to dig a bit deep and see what the house rules are and find out what you can expect. (In my case I could have done better on this as I had understood for photo and videos to be forbidden during the event, but phones to still be available with a sticker on the camera. When I turned up I was a bit surprised to learn that actually, no phones where allowed at all. So be prepared).

Pack with a Double Checklist

You’ll need to pack for both your travel and the event itself. There were to many people at this event that had been sweating on a hot day in public transit with a full latex outfit underneath their sweatpants and shirt. (I guess using public transit for going to a kink party is less likely in other places in the world, but here a lot of people do not own a car since the public transit is generally reliable and cheaper than cars). Anyway, do check, but usually changing rooms are available even if lockers can be quite expensive, but just try to make your travel as comfortable as possible so you do not arrive completely devoid of energy.

Arrive Early

Sure, something can be said for a fashionably late entrance, but scouting out the venue is best done early when private rooms are still available to play in and it is not yet overly crowded everywhere. Its also a lot easier to meet people when everyone present has not yet found a little group they will be glued to for the rest of the day but instead, just like yourself, still kind of awkwardly trying to mingle.

Prioritize Safety

Some general tips here. Think about some scenarios that would make you uncomfortable and have a good plan in place for when any of those scenarios happen. Make sure someone is aware of Your location (for me my Mistress could track me using Strava and I had sent a location pin when I arrived on Signal as well. Other apps and ways to do this are of course available). Know how you can identify staff members and do not be afraid to approach them at all, even if what you are dealing with seems insignificant. Not only can they help with first-aid kind of safety but also if you are feeling pressured in a conversation to do things you do not want to. Lastly, just get your own drinks, or if someone else buys one for you, just walk along to the bar to see if there is nothing going on with that (if you are with a partner, or trusted group of friends exceptions of course apply).

A Final Note

I very much appreciated a very good guidance from my Mistress going to a play party without Her present. If you are in a similar situation, either as the Dom(me) or sub going to something like this, communication is important and make sure to be open about your feelings.