A basic guide on things to consider

Ofcourse everyone knows this, but to state it. These should be consensual!

Some things to consider:

1: How exclusive should it be?

• Here it is good to look at whether other partners are allowed, and if the other partners can be a dom. In addition it can be good to set some guide on how a notification about other partners come up. As well as any rules around the interactions.

“You may have other partners”. “You should ensure to share prior to having other partners, or advise if you are going to an event where you may pick up another partner”

or “you should not have other partners”

“if the other partner is a DOM (or sub), then an agreement should be made prior, so it is clear what expectation can be met and how much time is available for play per week”

or “You should not have another dynamic”

“Prior to taking another partner(s) we should have a conversation on this”

“Any interactions with other partner(s) requires me to be present”

– consider that if your partner has ‘Bi’ that your partner may enjoy interaction with the opposite sex, if you are the same, this could be a threesome-

2: What are the basic expectations?

• Things that are basic of what you want in the dynamic

“I expect honesty and loyalty” “I expect to be prioritised” “I expect you to be open minded and try things”

3: How should communication work?

• A thing to consider early on is regular AMA’s on the dynamic, or a yearly review of how the dynamic is working. A consideration should be made around creating a space where both parties are equal in the conversation. Think about any fun daily interactions that you would like to take place. Also consider basic things you want shared

“Once a month we will do a dynamic AMA, where you have the option to ask for feedback, and bring up something that concerns you or something that you have felt was hard to raise”

“During this time, we will drop titles and we will interact as two individuals”

“I want you to make my bed every night and say goodnight before you go to bed” or “I want you to say good morning to me before you speak with anyone else, online or otherwise”

“I expect you to tell me if you cannot complete a task” “I expect you to tell me prior if you are getting nervous or concerned about a task”

“I expect to be allowed to share important personal things” “I expect you to share personal things with me” “I expect you to tell me when you are ill, or feeling sad”

4: How do we keep it open to new kinks?

• Consider whether this should be part of the AMA, or if you would like it added into a monthly plan where you engage and try new kinks. Exploration should always be part of a dynamic.

“I will include a aspect of different kinks in your plan. I expect feedback on whether you enjoyed or didn’t enjoy, so we can help understand which kinks you enjoy”

5: How should conflict be handled?

• What are basic communication requirements. What to expect within the dynamic in times of conflict. consider if a specific word needs to be called.

“If something upsets use clear and concise language to highlight this is not bratting nor a play but serious. If the message does not seem to be met sincere, please use the wording ATTENTION in bold and highlighted, so it is clear this is a serious conversation. Real life, said the word twice in a row”

“When we have a conflict, its important to remain calm and mention emotions. Using empathy to understand and acknowledge the other persons emotions are important”

6: How should it end?

• It can be good to create a space where both are equal. It is important to discuss any shared photographs and videos. It is also good to set a catch up point, where once things have settled, there is room to discuss further

“If we are at a point where one or both parties would like to then dynamic, this should be discussed in details, so both parties are aware and have feedback on why”

“When the split takes place the shared confidentiality shall be maintained, including but not limited to any photographic items or videos. Likes and dislikes, and personal information”

“For the purposes of new relations, you may share why the split took place and share own like and dislikes”

“We shall have a catch up in a month to allow for any additional things to be discussed”

Other considerations:

Should it include a kink list, meeting rules, daily rules or a stalker contract? see stalker contract or meet-up rules for more ideas. Recommend to keep them separate, but you can include so this is clear prior

A basic example:

Ownership Rules: Playing with other Mistresses in FEMDOM is allowed, as long as you tell Mistress if something upsets you or if you come across a new kink you enjoy. Keeping you safe and happy is important You are not by default allowed to have multiple online DOMS. If you wish to have one more Online Dom I want to validate them, so always ask first If you wish to have another DOM completely, I will ofcourse understand this, however in order for me to understand you must first tell me and I will likely appreciate knowing why Real life, I will not interfer at all, so no rules regarding this, other then to tell me if you go see a real life DOM so I am aware (No BDSM clubs unless approved beforehand. If you want to try these, have me with you) I allow bratting, however I do not allow disrespect. If I think you are bordering disrespect, I will make this very clear and you must re-adjust your tone It is absolutely okay to say No, so make sure you do where needed Patience is a must Honesty is a must Communication is a must If you are having a bad day, I want you to tell me. Despite what ever caused it, its important to know so I can ensure you are looked after. You do not need to tell me what caused it, if you feel vulnerable about this. If you feel overheard or not listened to, add ATTENTION into it. It will highlight for me, you need space to get your point across If you feel not heard or overlooked in a server add & tag me, and I will interact with you Every ub starts on Blue collar. Followed by purple, then red, then black. Blue collar may seem boring but is important for trust and learning eachother. Mistress will at times need day or week off in ⁠☮│peacemode-dates and will let Pet know in advance. Suggestions is welcome at any time. Always greet me in here before anything else online